So this morning while walking back from doing my checks (I had duty last night), I froze in my tracks as a small (about an inch) scorpion traversed the sidewalk into the grass in front of me.

Little did I know that wasn’t the worse of it. After the scorpion finished crossing, I continued walking with a wary glance at where the scorpion had been. Suddenly, from my peripheral I noticed another black object in front of me.

Now, here is where my brain, in order to show off its talent for spontaneity, decided to act up. The black object suddenly jumped a few feet into the air in front of me. It wouldn’t have been that bad, except for the psycho thoughts of my deranged imagination:

The words, “MOTHER OF GOD! FLYING SCORPION!!!!” leapt into my head causing my body to initiate 20 years of tactical training to take immediate evasive manoeuvres and attempted to, what we in the military would call, run away like a little girl.

Fortunately, before I could act on my impulse, I noticed where the evil creature had landed and observed that it looked not much disimilar to a cricket. A THRICE-DAMNED CRICKET  (darn Jiminy)!!!

Then came the words from inside my head, “just kidding!”

Morale of the story: It’s never too early for an April Fool’s joke when my abstract mind is involved.