Apparently there is a game that was recently released that has exploded like wildfire.  Unfortunately, people being, well, people, have figured a way to take it to extreme and obsessive levels (hmmm, go figure…).

There’s been word that several critters have been found in unorthodox and highly inappropriate locations, to include the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and in the chamber of the Jefferson Memorial (no, seriously…).

I can see future news articles now:

“Grafenwoehr Joint Military Training, Germany – There was a postwide cease-fire today when it was discovered that personnel had inadvertently entered several impact areas searching for Pokemon. Much to their dismay,instead of finding themselves surrounded by the small, cute, creatures, they were in an area inhabited by the less-trainable and rather hostile UXO or unexploded ordnance (…although, oddly enough, some Soldiers did refer to the UXOs as small and cute).”

“Arlington, VA – Homeland Security, the NSA, and DARPA have all denied rumours and allegations that they are behind the security vulnerability that caused the game to inadvertently be granted full access and permissions to your Google account, thus be able to read and send emails from your account. When confronted about the tactic to gain access and collect information from citizens they responded with genuine shock (…although they also seemed rather impressed and disappointed they hadn’t thought of it first…).”

“Niagara Falls, N.Y. – A player had to be rescued as he hopped over the guard rail and nearly fell over into the mighty cataracts.  Fortunately, a dangling branch snagged his jacket before he plunged into the waters.  When questioned, he stated that he was merely attempting to capture one of the creatures that seemed to be taunting him (…upon further inspection, it was discovered that what had been thought to have been a creature was, in fact, nothing more than a smudge on his phone).”

“Fort Gordon, GA – Drill Sergeants have requested augmentation to their numbers in order to keep a constant surveillance on their well-kept sacred lawn.  The game has reportedly made some trainees think, incorrectly, that they can somehow sneak onto the lawn without being noticed.  The Drill Sergeants stated in a public announcement that they felt confident in their ability to apprehend all those that dare disobey the ‘Stay Off the Grass’ signs (…in fact, their actual document stated, “We will catch ‘em all, Hooah!!!”).”

“Los Angeles, CA –Stitch, from Lilo & Stitch and Larry the Cucumber, star of the kids’ TV programme, VeggieTales, made a 911 call reporting that they had been accosted by a group of kids outside Stitch’s home.  At first, they thought the group wanted their  autographs, but it rapidly escalated and turned violent when the mob began throwing red and white balls at them.  Although police are looking at this as a case of mistaken identity,  both Larry the Cucumber and Stitch have stated that they believe it’s a case of racial profiling and have condemned these acts of violence.”

And it seems that since its recent inception, not only has the game gained worldwide attention, but interstellar notoriety as well:

“Qo’noS / Kronos – The Chancellor of the Klingon High Council, in a radical move to prevent the galactic spread of this “disease” have waged war on the pests and have viciously demonstrated their hate for any small furry creature by declaring that they have made them mortal enemies of the Klingon empire. They have vowed to eliminate this potential threat and have stated ‘Hoch chaH catch maH!’ (…which I believe also translates roughly to ‘We Will Catch them All!’ … or they were just clearing their throats… and also makes me wonder if most Drill Sergeants are, in fact, Klingon…).”

“And in related news, a plane bound for Canada had to make an emergency landing when William Shatner, also known to the Klingon Empire as Captain James T.Kirk, had a panic attack after glancing at his mobile and frantically started shouting the same phrase over and over,  ‘THERE’S, SOMETHING, ON, THE WING!!!’ He has since acknowledged and is in initial talks with the Klingon High Council to join in their efforts to eradicate the creatures and make them mortal enemies of the United Federation of Planets.”

And lastly:

“Mexico City, Mexico – In an unexpected twist of events, the Mexican Government, in a last ditch effort to prevent an outbreak and panic throughout their land have quickly started building their own wall to prevent what they described as mindless zombies from invading their land. When asked where that idea came from, they credited the people from the North for coming up with the idea (…they went on to further state that Canada’s wall was already near completion…).”

So, it is clear to see that this game has had grave consequences with no end in sight.  So, in the meantime, make sure that you keep your eyes open and hope there are no large mobs heading in your direction with a blank look in their eyes (…if you’re lucky it might be nothing more than just a horde of zombies coming to eat your brains, but looking at the alternative, there doesn’t seem to be much difference…).

So, that’s it.

Good luck to us all…