So,  today was Election Day.

How did you vote today?

Wait,  before you answer that with a slap and a, “how dare you ask me such personal question???” Bear with me and read on. 

I actually went to Early Voting.

I thought I had done all my research. Clearly, I was sadly mistaken. There is apparently more to this voting thing than I’ve been led to think.

After much studying, deliberation and thoughts, I couldn’t sleep the night before.  A myriad of questions raced through my mind [probably due to the amount of sugar from all the candy I had “acquired” from the kids’ Halloween bags].

Thought provoking questions like, “Did I do enough research?” “What if I’m wrong?” “What if I’m right… about being wrong?” “Did I really lock the back door?” “Do I really want to get up to check IF I locked the back door?” And the biggest one: “If a tree in the middle of the forest falls on a mime and there’s no one around to hear it, does the fridge light really stay on after the door is shut???”

So, the next morning after energizing myself with coffee and more candy, I drove to the polling location and mentally prepared myself to commit to my choices.  How hard could it be?

Then came the first question, “Are you here to sign in to vote?”

Ok, this is it… deep breath… “Yes, yes I am!”

Phew! Nailed it!!!

“Do you live at this address?”

OK,  stay strong… “Yes? I mean YES!”

OK, maybe a little too forceful… calm yourself…relax…

Then, it happened… a curveball… a question that came out of nowhere…The Mother of All Questions…  a question that I had not prepared for, nor had even thought was an actual choice… a question that almost destroyed my entire resolve and almost caused me to run out of there screaming!

There had not been any study material for this question and now I felt like our entire democracy — the fate of the world, even — was at stake if I answered incorrectly… and the question was this:

“Will you be voting electronically or by paper?”

“WHAT?!?” 

Maybe that’s why they made you do those funky Scantron tests in school; not for the sake of the test itself, but as training and preparation for this unholy day of days…

 

Artist rendition of the the Horsemen….well, Ponies…

 

So, if tomorrow you wake up to trumpets blasting, 4 horsemen riding down the streets,  and the whole world in utter chaos because I chose poorly and the whole Internet came crashing down,  I am truly sorry…

I was so flustered by that ordeal, that I raced out of there without even getting my sticker (wait, does that null my vote??? Great! More questions!!!)

With that being said, I ask you dear reader, how did YOU vote today?

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Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to do some research on that darn fridge light…